Invalidating mother - Red book chat
This study extends previous work by exploring associations between maternal invalidation and adolescent symptoms of BPD, with a short-term longitudinal design involving three assessments across one year, at baseline (Time 1), 6 months (Time 2), and 12 months (Time 3).Observational data were collected on 74 mother-adolescent dyads during a structured conflict discussion task at Time 2.
The center, located in Venice Beach, Calif., is the premier program on the West Coast for BPD treatment.
It is generally characterized by intolerance of the expression of emotional experiences, which often leads to extreme displays of emotion. Linehan, borderline personality disorder clinician and researcher, proposed the idea that the development of BPD happens during the developmental years, where the child receives the message that he or she should learn to cope with emotions internally and without support from his or her parents.
As a result, the child never learns how to regulate or tolerate her own emotions, and fails to learn how to solve the problems that are inciting these emotions.
“Quit your crying or I’ll give you something to cry about,” or some version of it, is a common phrase you might hear in a public place when a parent is trying to quiet their child.
As a parent, I know the panic that overtakes you when your child is out of control and, in the wake of the looks (and sometimes words) of judgment and annoyance from those around you, you’ll plead, bargain, threaten, and say almost anything to make the crying stop.
Growing up in an environment perceived as invalidating is one factor commonly discussed as contributing to the development of borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Coupled with a genetic tendency to be over-emotional, an invalidating environment is theorized to be one of the two major causes of BPD.
In this sense, to invalidate means to attack or question the foundation or reality of a person’s feelings.
This can be done through denying, ridiculing, ignoring, or judging another’s feelings.
Regardless of the means, the effect is clear: the person's feelings are “wrong.”An environment perceived as invalidating generally means that the child grows up feeling that his emotional responses are not correct or considered in the regular course of things.
Over time, this can result in confusion and a general distrust of a person’s own emotions.
An invalidating environment is not the same thing as an abusive environment, although abusive relationships are certainly invalidating.