Multi dating - franziskafischer hessen dating
Ladies, I’m not saying don’t have fun but I am saying to be careful of not only living a double standard but dragging out a cycle of being emotionally unavailable and commitment resistant.If we truly do want a relationship and we don’t want to engage in the type of situations that have caused us pain when others have done it, why do it ourselves?
Or you’ll quickly hop on your laptop and start flirting up a storm on a dating site, quickly filling up your diary with dates and attention so that any rejection you’re feeling is quickly blocked out. You’ll experience times when you think you want a relationship with one of them but you’ll agonise about killing off the other attention sources and feel nervy of committing.When I was looking for love, I often dated up to three guys simultaneously.I wasn't trying to hit some number in the Guinness Book of World Records.Over the past few weeks in particular, I’ve had quite a few readers tell me that they’re dating multiple people, something I find exhausting just thinking about it, but at the same time rather fascinating because I find that people give me all sorts of reasons for they do it: I’m just experimenting with dating. Remember how you didn’t like it when Mr Unavailable had a narcissistic harem of women he was dipping in and out of for an ego stroke? It’s where you discover the facts that will help you determine whether you should green light, date some more and potentially move into a relationship, or whether you should red light and abort the mission.Couldn’t you ‘experiment’ with one person for a few dates, see how it goes, and then move on? Do the people who you are dating know that you’re potentially wasting their time? As people no matter what they tell you, don’t always date for the same reasons, dating someone and getting to know them will let you determine through their actions and interactions (not just words and your imagination) whether you are two people on the same page with similar primary values.You won’t be interested because you’re genuinely interested – you’ll be interested because you’ll want to ‘win over’ this person and get validated, which is not the same thing.
You’ll just be falling into old patterns while having lots of loose ends.Each time I hear from women struggling with multiple dating, do you know what I hear?A woman who is uncomfortable dating several men at a time, that is not being authentic, and is living outside of her values – what we expect from others, we should expect from ourselves.You’ll also find that you worry about ‘breaking up’ with people and may even avoid being honest or be inadvertently ambiguous because you’re worried about hurting their feelings.Next thing you know, even though you that you’re not interested, you’ve got the stress of various guys you have half-hearted interest in, lurking around.It turns out, the secret to finding love and commitment is not committing too soon.